A Man, a Boy, and a Donkey.

2008-04-01T15:57:00.002-05:00

Remember the story of the man, his boy, and the donkey? The man set out one morning with his son to sell the donkey in town. He placed his son on the donkey and walked alongside, guiding the donkey and talking with his son. The first person they encountered along the way muttered, "Look at that lazy, disrespectful son, riding on that donkey while his elderly father is forced to walk!" Shortly thereafter, the man took his son off the donkey and climbed on himself. A bit further down the road, another passerby commented, "Look at that lazy man, riding on that donkey, forcing his young boy to walk!" So the father jumped off the beast and the three of them walked down the path together. Next they heard a comment from another critic: "Look at that foolish pair! Walking when they have a perfectly good donkey they could be riding!" The father climbed back on the donkey and lifted his son up with him. The final complaint was heard by another traveler: "Look at those cruel men! Overburdening the poor donkey with such a heavy load!" Into the town walked the boy, with his father grunting and sweating beside him--carrying a donkey on his back. And the moral of the story? If you try to please everyone, you'll end up making an "ass" of yourself.

No one enjoys criticism, present company included. In the story of the man and his donkey, the man is such a people-pleaser that he alters his behavior to appease each critic he encounters on the road. This one example of an inappropriate response to criticism. "You can please some of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time." And to attempt to do so would be foolish.

For those of us who are not in the people-pleaser category, there is another dangerous response to criticism: bristling and rejecting all criticism as an unwarranted personal attack. Intellectually, we understand the phrase "constructive criticism," but in practice, we take all criticism too personally and get easily offended. (Psychologists may point out that this response is just a variation on donkey-man's desire to please everyone...) Some of my personal favorite quotes touch on the theme of pressing ahead and rejecting unfounded criticism:

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

Theodore Roosevelt
"Citizenship in a Republic,"
Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910

"You have no enemies, you say?
Alas, my friend, the boast is poor.
He who has mingled in the fray of duty
that the brave endure, must have made foes.
If you have none, small is the work that you have done.
You've hit no traitor on the hip.
You've dashed no cup from perjured lip.
You've never turned the wrong to right.
You've been a coward in the fight."
- Charles MacKay

These quotes appeal to those of us whose first response to criticism would tend to be, "Mind your own business. Don't tell me how to ride my donkey."

For a third possible response to criticism, I recently came across a book entitled, "A Complaint is a Gift." The message is that we must change our perspective on criticism and welcome it as we would a gift from a friend. The critic's gift is the opportunity to modify and improve behavior now, rather than later. Most dissatisfied customers don't take the time to complain. They just stop buying the product or shopping at the store that has resulted in their dissatisfaction. And most people in my life won't criticize me, even when the criticism would benefit me. Only a true friend would say, "Hey, you have a booger hanging out of your nose. Here's a kleenex."

So to boil it all down, decide how you are going to get your donkey to town and set out on your journey. Smile politely at your critics, thank them for their comments and tell them you will consider what they have suggested. Stick with your plan as much as possible, but be willing to change what needs to changed. Press on.

Examining the Scriptures...to Find Stones to Throw?

2008-03-17T11:21:00.001-05:00

"Now these (the Bereans) were more noble-minded than those in Thessalonica, for they received the word with great eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see whether these things were so." (Acts 17:11, NASB)

The intention of the above verse was not to justify skeptical scrutiny of ministers with whom we disagree. There are other passages in Scripture that warn us to be on our guard of false prophets or false teachers, but the context of this verse in Acts 17 is not related to exposing false teaching.

Paul & Silas have just traveled from Thessalonica, where they preached Christ and had some measure of success in persuading some Jews, Greeks and "prominent women" to accept their message. However, the Thessalonian Jews stirred up a mob to try to discredit Paul & Silas. They went so far as to falsely accuse Jason and some other believers of inciting political trouble in the name of Jesus.

That night, Paul & Silas sneaked out of town and headed to Berea, where the message of Christ was received "with great eagerness." Consider verse 13:

When the Jews in Thessalonica learned that Paul was preaching the word of God at Berea, they went there too, agitating the crowds and stirring them up. (Acts 17:13, NIV)

There was a big difference between the Jews in Thessalonica and the Bereans. The Jews in Thessalonica were trouble-makers. They made accusations against legitimate spiritual leaders with no basis in fact. They went out of their way to attempt to discredit and silence God's chosen leaders.

The Bereans had a much different attitude. They were eager to receive the message of Christ that Paul brought. Their foundation was hearts that were open, teachable, and receptive to the truth. They wisely compared the teaching with Scripture and found that it was correct and true.

Of course, there is a third city discussed at length in Acts 17. Athens was characterized by its obsession with knowledge. Visitors to Athens could add their favorite religious beliefs to the smörgåsbord of Athenian philosophy. Then heap their epistemic plate with a scoop of whichever beliefs appealed to their spiritual palates. Athens is the city that most people come from today: "Yes, I'd like to sample that spiritual dish. No thank you, that doesn't appeal to my taste. I'll leave that on the buffet for someone else." They must be reached through creative methods such as the contextualized approach used by Paul on Mars Hill.

But there are others today who come from Thessalonica. They cause trouble, point fingers, spread false accusations. They even travel to other towns to expose and discredit spiritual leaders that they consider to be heretical, using modern methods of virtual travel such as the internet and email to get their message out. They spend their time trying to stir up mobs to agree with them. Their hearts are hard and they are consumed with their anger, self-righteousness, and insecurity.

Thankfully, there are still some Bereans around. There are people who actually study Scripture because they are eager to know the truth. They're not looking for stones to throw. Their fingers trace across lines of Scripture text rather than pointing at those with whom they disagree. Their noses are buried in The Book and waste little time sniffing out false teaching. They are trusting, meek, and their hearts are still soft and pliable. Find these people. They have a tendency to rub off on you and make you all Christ-like.

What percentage of our time does God want us to spend on rooting out heresy or exposing false prophets? I mean, we're supposed to: go into all the world and preach the Gospel; care for the needs of widows and orphans; pray continually; allow God to work miracles through us; use the gifts of the Spirit that God has uniquely placed within each of us; study God's Word to show ourselves as approved workers; always be prepared to give an answer (in love) to anyone who asks us about our faith; do spiritual warfare; resist the devil; flee from temptation; "hide" God's Word in our heart (memorize Scripture); use Scripture to encourage, rebuke, correct, & train others; live in unity with other believers--just to name a few. Those things all take a lot of time. How would God prioritize these activities?

Reality Check

A Man, a Boy, and a Donkey.

Examining the Scriptures...to Find Stones to Throw?